hmmm............. This is me staring at a computer screen for 30 minutes not sure of what to tell all of you.
This
serving a mission thing sure is not easy and many times I wouldn't even
call it enjoyable, but it is exciting and fulfilling and some days a
whole ton of fun, but most importantly it is worth it. The good
moments, though they may be few, make up for the bad ones and I am
learning what it means to be "[given] strength, that [I] should suffer
no manner of afflictions, save it [be] swallowed up in the joy of
Christ." Each day is better than the last and faster. I have less than
8 months left and I cannot explain to you how terrifying that is. As
each new week flies by I find myself asking, "Where has all my time
gone?" A mission is a small fraction of a life time and it ends sooner
then one would expect.
My first three transfers (6 weeks each) in the
field were agony, I felt like each week was never ending. I hated the
work, I felt constrained by the rules and I was annoyed that no one
seemed to understand what I was saying (in English or Spanish). What a
change I have seen. I love the work and I love the people more than I
ever thought possible. I have seen miracle after miracle. I have seen
lives and souls saved by the grace of God. I have met the humblest and
the proudest of folks and have felt God's love for them all. It
continues to hard.
Some days I still feel trapped in this city, the
buildings and streets and noise surround me on all sides, but I am able
to find the peace in it all. I can escape into my scriptures and with
my prayers the noise seems to be drowned out. I still get rejected, a
lot, but rejection doesn't effect me as it did before, it is forgotten
because of the love that I have been given for these people.
I am still
not perfect, big surprise, but I am learning to work with my
imperfections and trying to improve each day. I can honestly say now
that I love being a missionary!
There are times when that is not true,
sure but they are getting fewer and fewer. I love being a missionary
and know that I am so lucky to be where I am.
So to those of you getting
ready to head out on your missions: I'm really sorry if it sucks for
the first little while, in my experience that is just the way it is, but
hold on, just hold on. I promise that it will get better. There are
brighter days ahead and our Heavenly Father will give you just what you
need to overcome. I love you and so does our Heavenly Father and by his
love you will accomplish amazing things. I promise you that it will
all be worth it in the end! To those of you just going through a rough
time in life I can promise the same. This time we have here is such a
small portion of the eternities and God promises that we will find joy
here. The joy will come, the relief will come, I don't know when but it
will come. Just remember that your Heavenly Father loves you.
pictures:
I felt so special this
week! We went and cleaned the LA river and even got to wear the Mormon
Helping Hands Vests, and mine was in Spanish!
I also got to climb a tree :)
and run across a river!
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